HIV, a new understanding

The last and first time I saw HIV/AIDS victim was in 1994 in the person of Sarah Jane Salazar. I was on my second year high school when she together with some officials from Department of Health visited our school for information drive about the disease. I get interested on the topic more or less because that was the time I started to go to Movie Houses for paid sex.

I was 50 meters away from the speaker although the sound waves from the amplifiers that entered to my ears were clear enough for me to be cautious.

The only thing I remembered was, the disease is deadly and cannot be cured. I learned from that time, as what I understood, that most of the carriers are drug addicts and sex workers. I feel safe because I am not an addict although I had multiple sex partners in a month, but still did not bother me.

From 1994 up to the present I did not practice safe sex, although that was my most active sex life years. I’m quite surprise when some of my encounters encourage me to use condom. I get suspicious to those who peel the aluminum wrapper on their teeth while we are on our way to cloud nine. I’m not comfortable using it. Thanks God that my Medical Certificate was clear when I took it prior to my work here in Dubai .

Chronicles of E.blogspot; Back in the Closet.blogspot; POSITIVISM.ph gave me another view of the disease. I might more than 50 meters away from them because I am from the other side of the world, but their message is so clear (thanks, internet!). That, I should not only be cautious but to show respect and be extra sensitive especially to those victims. They let me feel the hardships and challenges they have as they live their life, but still able to be productive. They introduce me to the disease on a greater perspective. They educate me.

Yesterday was another story. When I posted my comment on back in the closet.blogspot entitled emergency (http://backinthecloset.blogspot.com/2009/01/emergency.html), I received few contradicting arguments from other commenter including e whom I respected so much for his effectiveness in story writing and his generosity to share his life experiences that would help other people. He might get hurt on my point or disagree on what I believe now but that was out from my honest self.

Nevertheless, these people gave me a new understanding of HIV.

Thanks guys!

Grrrrr!!!!

I was scheduled for a Basic Photography Course on January 30 that will be conducted by Filipino Photographers Association in Dubai (Lightform) only to find out that I will add Dhs. 300 (down payment) on our first meeting aside from the 120 Dhs. I gave them during registration. What?! How much will cost me for the entire course? I immediately emailed them for answers but no to avail. It will be discussed on the first meeting as per the President. This led me to more questions: What if I don’t have the said amount, can I still attend? Why only mentioning now? They did not mention this on the registration day. Hmmm…. I smell fishy.

I set aside an amount for my camera for a specific brand and model but I found out that what I am eying has less advantages if I take photography seriously. I am ready to buy NIKON D60 but my new friend from Bahrain who is a Professional Photographer suggested me to buy NIKON D80. 50% more expensive of what I am planning to buy, meaning I have to raise more money. Hahaizzz….

My roommate Adrian informed me that his ex girlfriend want to get the wireless ADSL (don’t know the meaning). It is a square box where my internet was connected. Our understanding with Adrian before was we will share the monthly bill, but since he found new girlfriend and stay there almost all the time, I opt not to ask him share. No! Internet is my life for the past 4 months now. I should find way to continue my connection. I will pay whatever the amount that this box will cost. F@#k! gastos na naman!

My vacation is fast approaching (April 2009) but still don’t have enough money. I still have to pack up all the things that I have now and send it to my place via sea cargo before March. It will cost me Dhs. 600 – 700 more. OMG!

My youngest brother is asking me a white rubber shoes (NIKE or ADIDAS daw…). I informed him that I will give it to him on April during my vacation but he cant wait. Mabibitin daw sya sa school. Tulong!

Dubai Financial Crisis that leads to termination, lay-off, unpaid leave, delayed salaries, Grrrrrrr!!!!

Lesson for Today

“Consider troubles as a challenge to push yourself and crisis as opportunity to grow.” This was the phrase that struck me most during our training this afternoon conducted by our HR Manger – Ms. Rakhi, very effective and convincing speaker that you will opt to listen from start to end.

“In these hard times, we have to be positive and always look forward for a bright future. Always bear in mind that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If there is life, there is hope. This is the time for us to analyze and evaluate ourselves on how far we exceed guests’ satisfaction and realize how well we work together with our colleagues and the owners of the hotel. This is the time while the occupancy is still low, to get training and be the ready for the next phase of the future.

The hotel is now doing necessary measures to cut operational cost. From energy to supplies and from manpower to system change that could save most. Guests will be checked-in in tower A leaving the tower B empty while the occupancy is still low. The use of electricity, water and other supplies will be monitored closely.

I am very proud that our hotel did not settle to an option that will terminate us, staff.

For the past 2 months I keep on complaining to myself of how global crisis affects me as a person. My source of income gets lesser and yet the demand from my family increases. My vacation is fast approaching and plans did not materialize yet. I keep on thinking on how to get extra income but no to avail. Obligations hit at its highest level when you have the less capacity to settle, whew!

Come what may as the famous line goes. Anyway, I still have food to eat. Let the future decide what I should be and let the problem worries itself. Be optimistic.

Room No. 2229

It was a lazy night. I was standing at the lobby thinking of the scenes from the porno site that I just discovered earlier of the day. The moves and moans of the actors from the video clips I watched were still clear that makes me up sexually, horny. I was excited to go home and want to visit again the site.

Suddenly, I saw a taxi opening its door. One Arab man on his late 20’s stepped down with small grocery bag on his right hand. Arabs are the sexiest men in the universe. They have these looks that will melt your heart away. I was staring at him while he was entering the hotel fantasizing that he was one of those men doing great moves from the porno site I watched. After going through the revolving glass door, I found out that he was heading towards me. I smiled and greeted him.

“Can you please bring this to my room?” the Arab man instructed me. My fantasy stops. It’s like someone had poured me a bucket of cold water in the middle of a tight sleep. “What a fuck!” Why this young guy is still asking me to place his bag to the room wherein only chips and 2 cans of soda were inside. I get his bag and asked him the room number. “Room Number 2229” he answered.

I walked towards the room with a little disappointment. I am in the middle of fantasizing and suddenly, this sexy hunk will come to ask me to place a small plastic bag to his room. Anyway, I don’t have a choice. My consolation is that he is cute and he might give me a tip after my service.

“See you at the room Sir” I said to him for we are not allowed to use the guest lift. “No, come with me!” he demanded. The door open and we both entered the lift.

“In my place at Saudi Arabia, there are lots of Filipinos. I like them very much” he told me. “Filipinos are very hardworking Sir!” I answered. “No, it’s not only that. I like their looks and their color” he replied. I don’t know what he meant but my heart beats faster. I was thinking that my fantasy will be close to reality. But wait, never in my 3 years in Dubai I give way to this encounter in the place where I work even there were lots of chances. Guests might complain and will do drama that can be a major reason for me to be sent home, empty handed. Worse, they will put me in jail. Homosexuality is not allowed on this side of the world. My heart beats faster as we reached his room.

Room Number 2229. He opened the door with his key and entered the room. I gave him the bag but he requested me to place it inside the fridge. Again, my heartbeat moves faster and faster. I was so nervous, scared and anxious. I opened the door wide but he shut it down. “Oh my God!” I said to myself. I prayed but I forget how to start.

I moved forward to the fridge and kneeled down to put what is inside the bag. I started to put the stuff and then unexpectedly he whispered: “Can you stay for a while.” That was the coldest and sweetest voice I heard for years, but I feel like I was in hell on that moment. I forget everything; I don’t know what is wrong and right. I was tempted. Like Adan and Eve that even warned not to do so, they still disobeyed. He started to touch my legs up to my whole body. I stood up and pushed him to the bed and the rest was history.

You will be shocked to know who became top and bottom on that quick unforgettable experience I had in the room 2229.

After reaching climax he gave me Dhs. 500 or Php. 6,000 which I refused. I enjoyed and was so scared that he might complain me of this.

I walked out from the room with a small towel in the hand. I look like a criminal trying to wipe any evidence that I might create during my stay. Only the security camera on the hallway is the witness. If it will be monitored, I will be busted. Thanks that there are more than 300 security camera in the hotel. I went back to the lobby and stand at the desk, with my heart beating like an engine. I want to cry but I know it can’t help. I want to shout and ask myself why I let it happen, but there was no place to do it. I feel so weak, scared and helpless. I want to go home. I want to go to the Philippines as soon as possible.

to be continued...

Balikbayan Box

Set to take vacation this April, I was happy that my Balikbayan Box was collected by the Courier company today. Hoping that it will reached it's destination...

Balikbayan Box

Matagal na panahon aking binuno
Upang sa takdang oras ikaw ay mapuno
Personal na mga bagay aking sinantabi
Upang ang gustong pasalubong aking mabili

Sa araw na ito, ikaw ay maglalakbay
Na sa aking isipay laging nakasubaybay
Na sana ay makarating ka, nang buong husay
Upang sa araw ng pagtanggap, ligayay walang humpay

Balikbayan Box ikaw ay tawagin
Puno ng mga bagay na wala sa atin
Simbolo ng pagmamahal na gustong iparating
Sa kapamilyang matagal, na di nakapiling

Sanay masiyahan sa munting nakayanan
At magparamdam kahit sa text man lang
Ang masama ay palaging nakakalimutan
Saka magpasalamat kung silay tatawagan

What Happen? part 3

I posted 2 blogs entitled “What Happened?” (Part 1 and 2) in October of 2008. The first part I emailed to Manila Gay Guy for advice and had plenty of response not only from the author but from his commenter as well. Today is the 3rd installment of a roller-coaster-ride life experience of my friend Robert on his gender identity crisis. Please read the part 1 and 2 of this post dated October 23 and 25 respectively before proceeding.

My phone beeped as I start my work tonight. It was a text message from Robert, a close friend informing me that he had a drink with Henry.

I distanced myself to Robert since he has his girlfriend, Larcy. Although, every time we were together we keep on discussing our most favorite topic, MEN. I don’t know if it’s right for him but were quite sure that we both like it, fantasizing men.

Henry, 25 joined the company 6 months ago. He is very interesting physically that made me the effort to win his attention. What I like him most is the way he treated me. Text, miss calls and visiting me on my room without hesitation on regular basis were just few of the things he showed me lately, things that you will not expect from a straight guy like him. Nothing happen to us yet, hehehe…. Although we slept together one night but I was too drunk to do my trick. As far as I can remember, he’s the only guy I invited to go out for dinner alone aside from Robert. I feel so insecure to go out with someone whom I knew. It should be a group of 3 or more, or I go out alone.

Back to the text message of Robert that reads: “Jul’s, kainuman ko si Bisaya. Parang delikado, parang may mangyayari…hehehe. I was distracted after reading his message, distracted not out of jealousy but for his girlfriend Larcy whom I know very well. I remember those times that Larcy asked me about the real identity of Robert, if he’s really a gay or not. I did not answer her yes or no, but her love with Robert will cover all his weaknesses even his identity was my advice to her.

“Easy as 1,2,3 lang yan Bert. Kahit di mo lasingin, bumibigay yan. But Bert, isipin mo si Larcy” was my reply to him. He answered “Bahala Na!” I then texted him: “Bert, malaki kana. Alam mo na ano ang tama at mali . Iupdate mo na lang ako bukas, hehehe…” that was our last communication for the night.

To be continued…

5 Reasons of Why Not Taking the Public Bus

Filipinos are willing to pay for comfort regardless how small their income is. In Dubai, our “kababayans” set a side an adequate amount for taxi fare in case their patience will be put on test to the limit while on the road.

Public buses are still the cheapest and the most famous mode of transportation on this side of the planet. But there are 5 major reasons why most of our “kababayans” opt not to take this.

1. So Slow. The Public Bus in Dubai has 2-3 bus stops for loading and unloading in every kilometer. For a 5-kilometer destination, expect that you will stop for at least 2 minutes in 12-15 stop over along the way. Not to mention the road signs and the traffic that made this gigantic vehicle moves like a turtle.

2. Jam Pack. Since this is the cheapest mode of transportation in Dubai, it is always full not unless during slack period which usually starts at 10:00am to 3:00pm or from late night to early morning.

3. Foul Odor. The buses are fully air-conditioned and pack most of the time. It produces a very bad odor that can give you lung cancer, asthma, etc (heheh...exaggerating!). You can see our “kababayans” covering their mouth with a towel or spraying perfume every 3 minutes to avoid suffocation. They will also find time to smell their clothes after take off and check if the odor inside the bus is not with them.

4. Unreacheable. Not all the streets in Dubai you can find bus stops for you to wait the public bus. Sometimes, it can be your secondary mode of transportation for a single destination because it will not stop on your desired location. Public bus and a taxi to reach a single destination is usual routine of some people working here in Dubai.

5. Turn-Off. If you have a date, don’t take a public bus. Definitely, he/she will turn you down after the ride. If you have a meeting at specific point and at specific time, you have to plan it out in advance if you are planning to take a pubic bus. Spare 1 ½ hours for a 5-6 kilometer destination.


Dubai Road and Transport Authority impose excessive fines for private vehicle that will transport taxi passengers. But still, countless of them are present on the major streets of Dubai. Private drivers with their private vehicles are not afraid of the fines because the demand is quite high. In fact car lift, as what they called is more convenient and more affordable than those taxis. You can even hire them regularly if you need.

In the 1st quarter of 2010, metro railway will be opened. This can ease not only the traffic of Dubai but also the burdens that commuters are facing every time they took the public bus.

New Year's Gift

Its official, HR Department had released a memorandum mandating all personnel, Management and Rank & File to: 1st, take their vacation as early as possible; 2nd, mandatory 2 days off in a week to be deducted on leave credits and 3rd, a 15 - 30 days local leave with pay but deductible to leave entitlements. This is much better compared to other companies in Dubai that are now experiencing mass termination, early lay-off, and salary deduction because of the global crisis. Surplus in manpower is too much that they don’t have a choice except to cut it down.

My vacation will be moved 2 months earlier, from May to March of 2009. Plans were reconsidered. I was enrolled for a Basic Photography lesson from January to May but due to this incident, I will cancel it. I was planning to buy a MediaCom and an IPod Music Player but was differed. I want to go to Puerto Galera on Holy Week but will be settled to other place.

Whew! A very good way to start a new year. Happy year of the Ox!

Celebrating New Year!

I was eating my lunch at McDonalds IBN Batuta Mall of December 31 when I read the news that the ruler of Dubai Sheik Mohammed Al Maktoum urging its citizens not to celebrate the incoming New Year with a big bang. No fireworks and no alcohol will be served during the eve of December 31st in consideration of the Gaza War. As hotelier, I was a bit worried considering the preparations we made for this special night. Entertainers were flown from their country, food has been prepared, restaurant reservations were confirmed and so on and so forth. Thousands of Dirhams were spend to meet guests’ satisfaction.

At 10pm while going to hotel for work, I had the chance to talk to Ms. Theresa, F & B Secretary and informed me that the memorandum from the ruler of Dubai has been lifted. Still, No fireworks and alcohol will be served only indoor.

At 11pm I started my duty and saw guests on their best look to celebrate for the night. When the clock hit 12:00, everybody greeted each other including us, staff. There were no fireworks, only live entertainment and loud music during intervelas. The night was filled with fun and laughter although the celebration did not last for long compared to the past 3 years I celebrated New Year here in Dubai . It seems that everybody feels the tension of Global Crisis; everybody seems hesitant to throw their money away to celebrate.

At 3am, the hotel lobby was already quite. Guests went home while others went straight to their room and sleep. We busy ourselves talking about the year that just passed and the hopes we had for the New Year.

8am I finished my shift and went home. Sleep.

Happy New Year!