Bakit Ako Galit!

My friend Robert visited me today on my room. I was struck by his news that the emcees for this year’s Staff Annual Party are Evans (Kenyan), Lea and Joy. Robert is part of the working committee. I was so affected of the information that my thinking keeps on asking to the point it bothers me for hours. My thought is questioning why I was not considered wherein I was one of the emcee last year with Lea. The head of the Working Committee, Ms. Theresa don’t even bother to ask me if I am willing to participate as what I showed of last year’s event.

Bakit ako Galit?! Why I am so insecure especially when these time (events, parties, gatherings) comes. I am event organizing addict. I am very supportive and willing to give all and yet it gives me heartache if I feel neglected. I am very sociable and yet I don’t have a core group that I can hang-out with when there are fallbacks or when the expectations did not meet. I love to be in the center stage and yet so scared of what other people might tell during the occasions. I get stressed instead of having fun!

Hahahaizzz! Am I a geek?

Maybe yes, when my mind tells me so. Mind is so powerful that even you don’t want to think about it, it keeps on rolling to your head especially when it matters to you most. I hope for this coming Staff Annual Party, I have the guts to enjoy and present my self well. Good Luck to me!

Blow job is sexy but hard hit blow is heavenly….

Yes, I am gay. Feminine, scared, attracted to same sex …weak. But there things you can do out from your anger, things you can do because you know that your right even it is least expected from you.

It was early in the morning. I just came from my breakfast and happily walk in on my workplace to start my shift when my Indian colleague shouted at me on the things to do in front of others. I was surprised but I let it pass because I don’t know what he’s talking about. He’s acting like my supervisor where in fact he’s in the same position of mine.

After sometime I told him not to do it anymore but he responded the same way, feeling like a boss. “That’s it, enough for him!” I dragged him in our luggage room and pointed out to him that he is not my supervisor pressing hard my point finger on his head. I pull his collar and try to intimidate him to fight with me. He was shocked, he shouted for help and my supervisor (Filipino) and other colleague came. They pull me back and ask the Indian to leave the room. I was so pissed off. I might be one the kindest person in the team but I can be a monster if somebody pushes me to the limit. I tried to calm down but I saw clearly objects like rope, knife, steel rod, and scissors, objects that if he is still in front of me I can use those to kill him. It took me about 10 minutes to calm down.

When I came out to start my duty, I saw him again. Telling to everybody what had happened. I approached and told him to stop it, but before he can say a word I punch him on his stomach. He knelled on the floor pressing his body, feeling the pain. I was disbelief of what had happened. I walked out confuse, nervous and scared. I was thinking of the consequences.

Later in the afternoon, my manager called the parties involved. I am ready for the consequences that this will be my last day of work. The Indian colleague aired his side (over fabricated) and my manager asked me if it’s true. I don’t want to defend myself from an Indian manager; I was thinking that this issue will be brought to HR Department for fair judgement so I answered him yes to make the meeting short. Luckily, it doesn’t need a sentence from my side to defend myself. The manager knows me well. He patched up things and asked both of us to shake hands and we did. He doesn’t want to make this thing big.

The team might have an impression that I am gay (yes! I am) because we’ve been working together for almost 4 years now, and I have ways very different from them. But what had transpired gave them new idea of who really I am.

This experience gave me enlightenment. I’m glad that from the meeting with our manager, it did not require me a lot to defend myself and the decision was in favour on my side. It’s good to know that I re-establish self-respect and the respect I wanted from others.

Blow job is sexy but hard hit blow is heavenly….