Messages on my Inbox

After 3 years of working together, I received 2 messages from my ultimate crush. Don’t blame him because he just got my email add 2 weeks ago, hehehe! 1st (forwarded message, actually) email was telling me to show love regardless of consequences and the 2nd was, don’t loose hope of pursuing your love. Of all the person he can send, why me I asked him on my reply on his 1st; 2nd was don’t send me forwarded messages because I keep on misinterpreting it. His 2nd was the last email I received from him until this time. I did not talk about it even we see each other in the workplace everyday. I don’t know why. It’s like we were waiting each other to break the ice which I prefer not to initiate because I know that it will not work.

I never got the urge to express my secret because he is straight. Although, he knows from the way I treated him that I have a special feeling. A friend told me that, it is better to love and loose than not loving at all. But our friendship is good enough to cover what others require for a relationship. What matters most is we had loved at all…

Global Crisis

I was alarmed of the following (due to financial crisis):

That blogger Yanah who work as a Sales Consultant in one of the Real State Company in Sheik Zayed Road did not receive her salary yet for the past 3 months.

That Dennis, a DIFF (Dubai International Film Festival) Volunteer who work as Marketing Executive for an Ad Company for almost 3 years looks for better company since their salary was delayed for a month now due to their company’s collection problems.

That Ronald my roommate for 3 years and now works at Royal Mirage is wondering if he had the right decision of moving.

That our hotel occupancy dropped to 45 – 50% compare to last year’s overbooking on this time of the year.

That our HR Department released a MEMO recommending staff to take a local leave or to go home for as long as 3 months wherein our Manager told last month that no one can take vacation on December.

That performance appraisal was conducted on all Departments. Is this the right time to conduct as such?

That the restaurant reservation staff should help waiters to serve guests in our coffee shop because they don’t have bookings or even inquiry calls.

That the transportation department removed the 6 routes of Staff Bus that will go to Karama and IBN Shopping Mall.

That your Boss will expect too much from you wherein there is nothing to do because of very low occupancy.

That tonight, Christmas Eve, the Security Department will raid the Staff Village and whoever caught drinking alcohol will automatically get his one way ticket to his homeland and will never get the chance of going back for work. Etc., etc., etc….

Whew! What a season to celebrate.

Merry Christmas to my family in the Philippines ! Hope that they will realize the situation here and stop asking for more “padala”.

DIFF Volunteer Party

Last night was the DIFF Volunteer Party. I am expecting that it would be a tiresome activity since I don’t have someone to smash the dance floor with. I was thinking of going to place, take the Certification of Appreciation, drink and go home immediately.

As I enter (30 mins. late) the venue which was held at TEYALI Tent of Mina Asalam, the mood was merry enough in order for me not to feel insecure. Every one was busy chatting and taking pictures. A very friendly waiter immediately approached me with a drink and I took a glass of Pineapple Juice from his tray. I was sorry to be informed that there is no alcohol drinks for the night. I went straight to the registration desk and took my certification. I saw 2-3 Filipinos on the place and a simple hello is too much for us to give each other. I don’t know why, maybe because of our pride. I stood in one corner and luckily, one Filipino from an Ad Company who was also a volunteer approached me and break the ice. We had a small talk and after a few minutes, pictures and video clips of volunteers during the DIFF were played on the overhead projector, messages from key personalities, group picture taking and awarding of best volunteers follow through.

The dance music was played and most of the attendees hit the dance floor. I feel so old to join them. I sat near the registration desk and happily watching beautiful ladies and gorgeous men of different nationalities dancing on the latest house music of Arab, Indian, and English songs. Suddenly, one lady on her Abaya (local) approached me with a beautiful smile and asked, “Sir! I cannot find my certification”. I looked back at the table and find out that no one is manning the distribution of certification. Although I was not assigned to do it, I stand up, go over the certification and helped the young lady. Luckily, we found it.

On the next 3 hours I found myself enjoying the beat of the music, dance a bit (on the registration desk) and at the same time helping the committee to distribute the certificates. I feel so overwhelmed and satisfied. I don’t have anybody with me at the party but the help I extend to the event was awesome and made me happy. A big surprised came, Mr. Bob McCarthy DIFF Manager of Volunteer approached me and shook my hand and said, “Thank you so much for staying. I really appreciate your help!” Wow! I never expect to hear that from a soft spoken and very humble British expat managing the 500 volunteers for DIFF. it’s like I won the “star of the night.”

I left the place at almost 11pm. I did not expect that I will stay for that long. I went home with a smile and a big heart. All the hardships that I encountered on volunteering were paid off not for the food vouchers they gave nor the certification or the party, but the smile I saw from the faces of those people I helped.

Until next year for the 6th Dubai International Film Festival!

Eureka!!!

I’m happy like Christmas!” exclaimed by Misterhubs when he received an appreciation letter from E of the Chronicles of E. Same feeling that I had today. Why? Because my long time friend - Jon found someone that will take care of him, a boyfriend.

The 37 year old high ranking official of PNP (Philippine National Police) with one 15 year old daughter proudly confirmed it to me over chat this afternoon. Our conversation was smooth as silk and shared common interest. “Sayang!” and we have to cut it short because he will go to work. I was amazed of his stories and looking forward to meet him in person.

I’m happy with Jon. Hope that their relationship will last long. “Kailan kaya ako makahanap?”

Sigh.

My DIFF Experience

For 28 years of living on this world, the last 4 days was my closest encounter with the stars. Although they were not famous, except for Nicholas Cage (Hollywood Actor) most of them are, on their own country. I was able to meet and greet with film production team and its actors came from different side of the world for the 5th Dubai International Film Festival.

I joined them as a volunteer from December 14 – 17 from 9:00am to 3:00pm as an Admin Crew. Basically, I supplied newsletter and other reading materials for the day to all the Departments that includes press & media, industry office, film market, etc. and to all screening venues like Madinat Theatre, Mall of Emirates, Dubai Festival City, and IBN Batuta Mall. We also visited Al Qasr and Mina Asalam – two of the most famous hotels in Dubai where the participants stayed to provide necessities to the hospitality desk that the festival provided for them. Although the task requires big effort, the whole experience was amazing. I was able to work harmoniously to more than 10 different nationalities that needs me to communicate in English the whole time plus I discover new places.

I worked with very hardworking Indians, Ms. Vanessa and Mr. Vishal in an office where Bob McCarthy, British – Manager of Volunteers and other key personalities also working. Every now and then I go out to check if the supplies are still enough on each offices and the same time greet them with my warmest smile that made me more confident to myself.

See you next year for the 6th Dubai International Film Festival!

Busy, busyhan....

I made this post (save it on my files) a week ago. Unfortunately, I got the chance to post it online only today because I am OFF and was so busy from the past few days...

12 hours is my time to work. It includes my whole shift, preparing myself and the transportation going back and forth. 6 hours or less for sleeping and the remaining 6 hours are for my personal stuff. I spend it going to gym but not regularly; to church but not often; socialization to others occasionally; and mostly internet. Basically, 24 hours is not enough for me to finish what I think to be done in a day.

Time management is what experts are telling me to achieve goals. I tried reading books and other related articles to equip me on battling my poor time management. There are some that I applied for months now and some were just add on to my confusions because of their contradicting views. What if, you think that your time is not enough and you still want to push yourself to the limit or beyond? When is enough and when is not?

Come May 2009 is my 4th year in Dubai. For those years, I found out that my life is just simply boring. I earn and I spend. I don’t even have savings except, that I financed my sister’s medical expenses on her last few months on earth and her burial last February 2007; my brother’s college who got his girlfriend pregnant after his graduation and of course my monthly “padala” that is always not enough according to them. I go out once and a while (to buy pleasure but not sex) but at the end of the day, you will ask yourself if it’s worth your time and money.

On my desire to give twist on my daily schedule, I volunteered for the 5th Dubai International Film Festival. We had our first meeting last December 3 and I will start my work on December 10. I committed 6 hours daily for 8 consecutive days to them for free. Is this worthy? I don’t know, but it is “no retreat, no surrender” since I already signed the contract with them.

In addition, I met the President of Lightform Photography Club last December 5 at Zabeel Park. I enrolled for Basic Photography Course that they will start this January 2009. I feel great! I saw new faces and met my online friend (blogger) in the place whom I just knew, Yanah.

These new endeavors in my life would mean a lot to me although I feel hesitant if I can handle it smoothly and responsibly. Regular activities might be sacrificed and big adjustments are needed for my plans to work. I am hoping that everything will go to its proper place on its proper time as planned.

“Kung gusto may paraan. Kapag ayaw may dahilan.”

5th Dubai International Film Festival

When Manny Pacquiao knocked out Oscar Dela Hoya on the 8th round of their professional boxing in Las Vegas , Dela Hoya reacted: “My heart still wants to fight but my body did not respond to it.” Hurting, right?

I was on the same feeling when I attended my first training for the 5th Dubai International Film Festival at Madinat Jumeirah, Mina Asalam. I know by heart that I want this not for the freebies but for the experience that will make me happy, proud and better person from this challenge.

The whole training was not organized as most of them were busy preparing for the main event. The worst part was everybody talks English effortlessly. Basically, I was on myself alone coz I was not able to find individual approachable enough for me to be with. I feel so helpless and so hesitant to express my feeling because of my poor communication skills. Everything was new to me. My heart is begging me to press on but was so insecure to move on the next step. At the end, I went home with frustrations. I did not make it on the position that I wanted because of insecurity. They knocked me out!

HIV / AIDS

I first (and the last as of this time) met a person with HIV / AIDS was in October of 1994. Ms. Sarah Jane Salazar visited our school to educate high school students about the disease. Even though I was just 14 then, the message was so clear – that HIV / AIDS cannot be cured and will kill you once infected.

14 was the start of my active sex life. At that age, I visit Movie Houses almost twice a week just to satisfy my needs. When I was asked why I came home late, I just answered school project. When my elder sister asked me why I have plenty of money (from my clients, hehehe…), I just answered from “PALUWAGAN.”

14 years later, the Chronicles of E BlogSpot crossed my PC’s screen. Unlike Sarah that I saw in person, E wasn’t. But his thoughts and experiences were so interesting, informative, and real that help me broaden my knowledge. He can even give you a personalize message if you need. I wonder, of all the people, why he was infected when he is so smart, intelligent and well rounded person.

14% is my doubt that I might get the virus because of my past experiences but the remaining 86% is sure that I’m not. My Medical Clearance, a requirement to work abroad, will prove that.

What if time will come that I will be infected of this deadly disease, can I handle my life peacefully as what E is doing now? Or I will just jump in the building to kill myself. HIV / AIDS will come to you on your least expected time, you can’t tell. “Sino ba ang may gusto nito? Ikaw, gusto mo?!”

Christmas on the Air!

Shit, pasko na! that was I told to myself (secretly) as I heard the choir singing a Christmas Carol on their final song. I attended Sunday Mass yesterday and decided to seat away from my friends and colleagues so that I cam concentrate well. I get so emotional, sad, and helpless.

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. And for this incoming festive season, I will celebrate it lesser because I am here in Dubai. I am far from my family and from my beloved country, Philippines – the longest Christmas celebration you can find in the world.

The song was (to the tune of: “O little town of Bethlehem 1st Melody)

This Advent we await God’s reign
When greed and hate shall cease
And kindness dwells in human hearts
And all of us find peace.

O God of holiness and grace,
Illuminate this hour
With hope that we shall see Christ’s face
When he returns with power …