Sino Ako (part 2) ?

Kaibigan

# 20

Di ako handa na makipagsuntukan,
Upang ikaw ay ipaglaban sa gitna ng daan
Pero buong oras ko kaya kong ilaan,
Para ikaw ay damayan at paglingkuran.

#19

Di na baling sampu, basta totoong tao
Kaysa sa dalawmpu pero nagbabalatkayo

# 18

Bad trip sa akin ang nagtutulakan
Sa panahon na may dapat bayaran
Sa restaurant o anumang klaseng gimikan
Gastos pag-usapan, bago ito simulan.

# 17

Ayoko sa mayabang dahil ako ay mahilig ding magyabang
Subalit handa akong lumohod kung ikaw ay nakakalamang.

# 16

Hirap akong maningil sa mga nakautang
Pero di ibig sabihin na ito’y kalimutan na lang
Ang perang kinuha dapat mong palitan
Para sa susunod ikaw ay pagkatiwalaan

Sino Ako (part 1)

The 25 things about me….

Walang nagsabing gumawa din ako nito
Pero ako’y nagsisikap para sumabay sa uso
Kahit sa post na ito, pwede akong mabuko
Wala akong pakialam! Basta ako, nagpakatotoo…

Sino nga ba ako? Ako ay…

Bakla:

# 25

Awkward sa akin ang magladlad
Dahil katawan ko ay malapad
Pilit mang magpakatotoo
Pero kumembot na parang babae (in public), ni sa isip ay di nabuo (as of this time).

# 24

Di ako karpintero, tubero o mekaniko
Pero magaling akong maglaba, mamalantsa at maglinis ng kwarto.

#23

Ingat kayo sa akin kapag ako ay nalasing,
Baka wala ng saplot sa inyong paggising
Kabaklaan ay sobra at di mapigilan,
Kapag alak dumaan sa aking katawan.

#22

Lifestyle, Talk Show, Reality at Documnetary
Yan ang mga hilig ko kapag nasa harap ng TV,
Basketball, Boxing at mga teleserye,
Yan ang ayaw ko kaya remote control ay di mapirmi.

#21

Type kung magkaBF dahil dahil yucky ang GF (napasubo lang!)
Gusto ko nang magmahal, at mamahalin din ako ng lubusan...


to be continued...

81st Oscar Awards

The best moment I had while watching (live) the 81st Oscar Awards was during the acceptance speech of Dustin Lance Black who won the best in Original Screenplay for the movie MILK.

I found myself into tears when he gave his thanks to the people he loved and inspired him to be at his best, very emotional...

He is a hero.

Excerpts: I wanna? I wanna thank my mom, who has always loved me for who I am even when there was pressure not to. But most of all, if Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches, by the government or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally, across this great nation of ours. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you, God, for giving us Harvey Milk. (Oscar.com)

Click for full:

http://www.oscar.com/oscarnight/winners/?pn=detail&nominee=Milk%20-%20Writing%20(Original%20Screenplay)%20Nominee

I was also very happy when Sean Penn (MILK) won the best actor. Unfortunately, it was not shown here in Dubai because of homosexuality issue. Sigh...

Inbox of Delights

After reading Mugen’s latest blog entry entitled body clock, I decided to post this article (advertisement) I read from IQ Magazine: Issue 0031 for 4-10 February 2009 which I read 2 weeks ago.

Inbox of Delights

Late Nights Emails Equate to Double Espresso Before Bed

Dubai , UAE, 27 January 2009 – Sleep experts have cracked the mathematical formula for a good night’s sleep in a bid to halt the sleepless epidemic – and there’s bad news for email (blog) addicts.

According to Crowne Plaza Hotels & Resorts’ research, checking emails before you go to bed has the equivalent effect on the body of drinking a double espresso.

Fuelled by the spiraling use of PDA’s, mobiles, laptops and Blackberries, business travelers are potentially robbing themselves of a good night’s sleep by failing to switch off gadgets early enough before going to bed.

Light from a mobile phone or laptop is intense enough to halt production of sleep-enhancing melatonin and experts are warning workers to switch off at least an hour before lights out.

To help guests enjoy a refreshing night’s sleep, Crowne Plaza has teamed up with top sleep expert Dr. Chris Idzikowski, of the Edinburgh Sleep Center, who traveled existing research to identify the top five factors for a good night’s sleep – and the five things that most likely to keep us awake at night.

Sleep Solutions
- Quiet (Q)
- Complete darkness (CD)
- Cool temperature (CT)
- Comfy and clean bed (CCB)
- Daytime exercise (DE)

Sleep Nightmares
- Electronic device usage 1 hour before bed (EDU1)
- Late-night eating (LNE)
- TV
- Caffeine (C)
- Alcohol (A)

And this is what the formula for the perfect night’s sleeps look like:

Q+CD+CT+CCB+DE-EDU1-LNE-TV-C-A = Zzzz

To all bloggers who can’t sleep because of thinking too much for their next entry and waiting for comments from their readers,

GOOD LUCK!

Room # 2229 (last part)

Before reading this post, please find time to read the fisrt part:

http://mrcens.blogspot.com/2009/01/room-no-2229.html

Continuation…

Feeling very anxious I went back to the desk where I am working. I was shocked of the incident that just transpired. I had difficulty to get my senses back that made Arthur, a colleague asked me of what happen and just answered him “nothing.”

After sometime I faced the computer in front of me, hit the keys 2229 in the system and the guest’s profile popped-out from the screen. Room # 2229 – Mr ______________ ; 29 years old from Saudi Arabia . He will be checking out in the next 2 days.

The things that I did to the guest on his room that night occupied almost all the space of my brain. It’s like a movie clip that keeps on playing every now and then. I should be very happy because I got what I want but the uncertainty is more bothering than the sexual pleasures that I had from a very hot Arab man. I was thinking of my future (at least) and the possibility that I might be in jail the moment this guest will make drama and complain. My shift ends with full of uneasiness.

The following day I tried to be in my normal mode, trying to forget the greatest mistake I committed here in Dubai. I made an effort to stay away from the vicinities of the hotel where I can be seen but my other side pushed me to be at the lobby hoping that the guy will see me and still want me on his room before he checks out. Luckily, the night ends that I did not see him.

Night before the guest checks out, I came to my regular shift that started at 11:00pm. I prayed at the Locker Room and went straight to my working place. Though scared, I am ready to face the consequences no matter what it takes. The incident gives me a lesson. For just a simple sexual urge, I put myself into a big trouble that will end my life.

After receiving the handover from the earlier shift, I am ready to face a new day. I stand confidently at the desk when the phone rings. When I am about to pick up the receiver, I saw from the caller id that it was from room # 2229. “What a fuck! We have 446 rooms in the hotel” and yet the first caller that I might receive for the night is from the guest whom I don’t want to have connection with anymore. Again, feeling nervous…

I look around to ask for help from colleagues but there was no one available. No choice, I pull up the receiver and answer the phone.

Me: Good Evening ______ (department)! This is Julius speaking how may I help you?
Guest: Good Evening! Can you please reconfirm my ticket?
Me: Can I have your flight details please.
Guest: Its EK 214 flying from Dubai to Riyadh.
Me: Sir, Emirates flying from Dubai to Middle East Countries need not to reconfirm.
Guest: Ok! Is this Julius?

BINGO! I was busted; the guest knows my name. I don’t know why but I confirmed him that it was me who made quickie experience with him 2 nights ago. I asked myself several times why I did not tell lie, I was caught unguarded.

Me : Yes Sir, Julius speaking. How may I help you?
Guest : Can you please go to my room, I will be checking out tomorrow.
Me : Sir, I am on duty.
Guest : Just for a few minutes.
Me : Ok Sir, I’ll see you in your room for few minutes. Bye.

I don’t want to disappoint this guest. I want to please him until he steps out from our lobby. I don’t want him to complain and if he has a plan to do it, I am hoping that he will reconsider it.

Though I just came for the shift I asked my colleague to cover me up for I want to take a 30-minuute break. Not for food of course but to finish whatever I had with this guest that put me into sleepless night.

Room # 2229, I knocked the door and the guest inside opened the door. Again, for the second time I saw the most beautiful face I had with in bed for years on bathrobe (only). He hugged me tight and he closed the door immediately.

Me : Sir. I will not take long. I am here to just say goodbye.
Guest : No problem…

And gain it happened.

Me : Have to go.
Guest : Take this.

The guest gave me Dhs. 500 (Php. 6,000) and his business card. I took the card but not the money. He took my number and wrote it down on a piece of paper. I went out from the room and go straight to my post at the lobby. I don’t know what to feel, but still very scared because he has still few hours to stay before his flight to Riyadh.

My shift ends. I went home and still thinking of the guest that I had just encountered. Maybe of tiredness and was not able to get sleep the day before, I had it for a couple of hours. I was awake when my phone rang. It was a call from an unknown number. I immediately think of the guest I had wildly encountered. I took the business card and compare the numbers that appeared on my phone’s screen. Yes, it was from him. I placed my mobile back on its place and tore the card into pieces, open my window and throw it away. I feel relieved and go back to my sleep.

Don’t have any connection with that guest anymore but the experience still haunts me.

The End...

Kilig to the Max!

The first person who greeted me happy valentines this year was from Nino, my crush right at my very own doorstep at 8:45am. He went to my room straight from a night duty asking me if he can use the internet for a while because his girlfriend was online. Automatically, I welcomed him with open arms. ...he still on his uniform

I let him sit in front of the computer and here I am, don’t know what to do. I busy myself arranging my stuff in the closet and put the TV on. The opening segment of Eat Bulaga made me “kilig” to the highest level. The cast of the program sung love songs from different times, old and new. I can’t help myself to sing along as well as Nino. Hahaizzz… feeling in cloud 9, if I can only tell my feelings. The songs were classics such as It Might Be You; Always; All You Need is Love by Beatles and Everlasting Love as revive by Gloria Estefan and new songs such as Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis and With You by Chris Brown. I want to tell him that I am singing for him, heheh…

I don’t have the guts and it is not necessary anymore. Love is sweeter if you will be loved in return. I know that Nino can only offer friendship to me. If time will come that Nino will allow me to conquer his body, it’s not out of love, it is his kindness in return of the favours I am doing to him which I am trying to avoid. Alam mo na yun!

My Most Memorable Valentines Day

My most memorable Valentines Day was in 2007. Not because of romantic craze or flowers and chocolates all around the corner, but it is because I heard the pilot of Emirates Flight flying from Dubai announcing that we are landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport. After 9 hours of waiting and nosebleed because of a Fil-Am seatmate that keeps on asking me stories in English, we landed on my most loved country, Philippines. He keeps on telling her love of her wife and his favourite sport, basketball even I wore my headset watching “The Devil Wears Prada, Finding Nemo, and Happy Feet while on board. No common interest to talk about. Thanks God that the aircraft was not full, I got the chance to switch places with of course a very pleasant excuse from him.

The gorgeous crew bids us farewell and immediately rushed to immigration. I don’t mind to talk to that Fil-Am buddy anymore even to remind him of his invitation to 1 night stay on his place at Tagaytay (with his wife) for I am so much excited to see my “sundo,” Chris. The last word I heard from him is asking me if his 10 US $ tip to those entertainers (trio on strings) is enough.

I went out the airport and finally I breathed in the dirty air of Manila, an awesome feeling on heart’s day. I saw Chris and hugged each other like scene in the film. We took taxi and find a place to stay for a night since I have to catch flight to Davao the following day. OMG! Most of the hotels, motels, lodging house or even boarding houses were full. Thanks God that we found one, Mabuhay Manor. Don’t know where it was exactly since I am not familiar in the capital at all.

Chris asked me to refresh immediately even he saw the words JET LOG on my head. We went down and took taxi and brought me to an eerie place called PALAWAN Bar. Eerie because the street going to the place was so dark and the bar was located in residential area. I am expecting that it was a bar with macho dancer dancing on their boot shoes only. But I was wrong; most of the performers were gay impersonators. The waiter laid a bucket of San Mig Light on our table and a platter of oil with “sisig” (exaggerating!) In just a couple of minutes, I finished the 2 bottles and I said to myself, wow! This is the real thing. I looked around and found out that there were no ladies on the place except for the person on the counter collecting cash payments from the patrons. I stood up and went to the toilet and then I realized that this is literally a gay bar. Bar that only gays/bisexuals are welcome. I feel so happy because that was my first time. Everybody is so friendly and most of them were nodding at you when they see you staring at them.

After an hour, I find myself on the dance floor with my shirt off as what others are doing. I had a great time, an overwhelming experience. A guy flirted at me and I invited him on our place.

When we reached the room, I immediately hit the bed. The guy put off my shoes and tried to turn me on but I was so drunk to be tempted. I woke up and saw Chris and the guy fucking each other. I turn my head and sleep again with a smile.

We had our breakfast together with the best service in the world - the hospitality of the Filipinos. We checked out and say goodbye to our new friend and Chris and me went straight to Domestic Airport for my flight is at 10am. I hugged Chris so tight for helping me of so many things. He will stay in Manila for some paperwork but promised me that he will see me in Davao the following week for he is planning to take a 2nd degree which is nursing in my city.

What made this experience most memorable is the fact that I was away in the country for 2 years and my first day in the Philippines after my work abroad was on Valentines day.

Happy Valentines Day to all!

Friday the 13th

It’s Friday, the 13th of February and it’s my off. I don’t believe that this day would bring bad luck as what I saw in the movie 4-5 years ago or what others believe, but it seems that it will happen to me this time.

There were no new posts from my favourite bloggers on the net; No email for me to reply to; No calls or text from friends for invitation to go out; feel so lazy to do my day-off tasks such as washing clothes, cleaning my room, etc. etc.

I went out with my camera on the street to take snapshots but was so cold to stay long. I was invited by my friend Jonathan to his room for his birthday party but I don’t want to see his girlfriend. I want to write something for my blog but even the first letter of my name was so difficult to find on the keyboard.

My day is almost over and I am ready to go to bed before the omen of this Friday the 13th would really kill me though this is very early for me, at 9:30pm. But not yet, when I open the internet and again check post from my favorite bloggers, i saw this...

http://lexuality.blogspot.com/2009/02/feeling-better-after-kambyo.html

Yes, the letter was from me. I did not expect that, the famous Lex Bonife will use my letter on his post for today - February 13, 2009. Friday the 13th...

Wala Lang!

OFF ko na naman...

day off is supposed to be the most awaited day of the week. time to rest, enjoy, and have fun. but sometimes...

this was written last February 6 at the nearest mall from where i live in dubai, IBN Batuta Mall.

---

Hahay, heto naman ako. Nasa sulok ng foodcourt sa pinakamalapit na mall. Binubusog ang sarili ng burger, fries at softdrink. Di makapagsine dahil gusto ko “Pinoy Gay Indie.” Kahit well acclaim na pelikula basta may temang kabaklaan, ni TV Ad sa local station di makakadaan. May internet, pero kulang sa emosyon, sa sound effects, sa quality. Gusto ko big screen, gusto ko sa madilim na my 3D max quality at digital sound.

Di makapagbar, dahil bukod sa malayo sa tinitirhan ko, magastos ang ganitong bisyo. Alam nyo bang ang isang pitcher ng beer ay isang libong piso. Ayaw ko yatang tumagay ng beer na uminit dahil tinitipid mo ito. Ayaw ko yatang sumayaw pagkatapos ay wala ka man lang mapupulutan sa iyong kinauupuan. Ayaw kong mainggit sa nga orders ng kabilang mesa.

May inuman nga sa kabilang kwarto pero ang hang-over mo aabot ng isang linggo. Bukod sa amoy at lasang lason na sa 3 shots lang, sigurado ka nang mahihilo. Ganyan katindi ang alak na mabibili mo sa kanto, na ang nagbebenta ay taong puno ng balahibo. Di mo tuloy mawari kung sya ba talaga ay tao o oso. Kung bibili ka naman sa liquor shop, tatanungin ka kung ikaw ba ay lisyensyado. Syempre hindi dahil ang sahod mo ay mamiso.

Pero bakit ako ay nandito. Sa malayong lugar na maraming Arabo at Indyano. Na kung saan, lahat ay nakakalbo dahil tubig dagat ang pinanliligo dito. Hmm… siguro sa mga ‘to:

- Mas malaki ang naitutulong ko sa pamilya.
- Masarap ang buhay dito. Pagkain, transportayon at ang bahay na tititirhan ko, 24hrs air condition at walang water and electric interruption.
- Afford kong magpalinya ng internet sa kwarto.
- Nabibili ko ang mga bagay na gusto ko (basic lang!)
- Malayo sa gulo, sa traffic, sa corruption, sa hirap.

But home is where the heart is. Nandito nga ako, pero ang puso ko ay nagsusumamo. Na kailangang umuwi at makapiling muli; Ang pamilyang nagbibigay ng lakas at inspirasyon sa bawat sandali. Ang bansang kahit na mahirap, madadama mo ang tunay na sarap…

Ang ngiti ng bawat Pilipinong tunay na naghahari.

May G4M account? Hmmppp…..

Nino is an ultimate crush. His youthful charm and charisma made him on the top. What made him so adorable is the way he treated other people. He is the only person who hugged me (so) tight wishing me well a night before I took my emergency leave to the Philippines 2 years ago; He likes to send forwarded messages talking about love and compassion but I told him to stop it because I keep on misinterpreting it; etc. etc…

He is straight, as my gaydar signalled me. As a matter of fact, I know his girlfriends. Yes, girlfriends because he had 2 relationships with our colleagues and the 3rd were from our sister company not to mention what he had in the Philippines. In fairness, it was one at a time. Come and go - a typical playboy.

Since Nino is so dear to me, I let him borrow my laptop. He knocked my door one morning, enter my room and lay on my bed beside me after knowing that my roommates are not around. “Naglalambing.” He will download songs to his IPod. Although, hesitant I can’t resist his smile and his way of begging me. After saying yes, he immediately took the computer and walked out. Bullshit, hehehe!!!

The following day he returned it to me. He said thanks and went back to his room. I immediately open it and check if it’s not broken. Thanks God, it was not.

I open the internet explorer and type G4M (one of my most visited site) on the search bar. My email add is MrCens@yahoo.com. When I start hitting the first key, I missed “M” instead I started with “N” which shocked me. After I hit N, Nino’s email add appear on the pop-up. “What a fuck! Why he has a G4M account?” Hmmpp…

I did not bother to ask him about it nor move to the next step to express my feelings. The most important thing is we are good friends and loving him from a distance is good enough for me to be satisfied. To make my day complete and put a smile on my face every time I see him is the best gift from him. If Nino is straight or bisexual, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. The most important thing is to respect him as I want him to do the same to me.

Test Shot

I just bought my NIKON D80 camera. I immediately went home and read the quick start manual for familiarization. Actually, I don’t want to use it without reading the manual because it’s too expensive (for me), I might break it on the first day of use. But my roommate Bobby is super “kulit” begging me to take some shots with him, and the result:

Bobby (with "yosi")

- Father of 2 beautiful daughters.
- At age 40 still looks good and flawless
- Full of energy, “tumatanda daw sya ng paurong sabi ng mga naiinggit.”
- He had a short relationship with President’s (ex) niece, a very famous personality.
- A fully recovered drug addict
- Very easy and fun to be with, gimmick or work wise.

Adrian

- Tall, dark and handsome
- Most friendly especially to girls but public enemy ng mga Security Officers. Pasaway kasi pag nalalasing.
- Recovering addict and Dubai is his rehabilitation center which is very effective (sabi nya).
- Very generous
- Mahilig sa speakers, amplifiers, head set, basta audio, expert sya.

Seriously, these guys are my kapamilya. I am so blessed that even I am away from my real family, they let me feel secure almost all the time. I can count on them always. We just shut up when we had misunderstanding. We love and respect each other.

Sa kakwarto kong si Bobby and Adrian, I salute you guys! The memories and experiences that we’ve shared together inside the 4 corners of our room for 3 years now will last forever in my heart.

I love you!

My NIKON D80

The most expensive gift I gave myself:

Actually utang yan (credit card), wala kasi akong pangcash eh. Di ko na inalintana ang Financial Crisis o takot ko sa utang, dinaig ako ng excitement ko sa photography. In fact, nagpaenroll ako dito ng Basic Course pero di ko itutuloy kasi overlapping sa nalalapit kong bakasyon.

I have still 2 months to familiarize and learn how to use it. 2 months before my most awaited time for 2 years now, my 2-month vacation to the Philippines this April 2009. Yahoooo!!!

Wish me luck.

Ma, pwede na ba akong mag Boarding House?

Tired of living with my big family, I came to my mother one day and asked: Ma, pwede na ba akong mag-Boarding House? Even my office is only 1 kilometer away from our house.

Bakit? Pagod ka na ba sa hirap anak? She answered me with her sincere eyes.

Her answer although it was also a question contented me. I love my mother so much that I don’t want her to be in pain. She doesn’t want her children to be away from her for just a simple reason that I might give her on that time. My mother is my inspiration, my woman of my life, my angel. So, I stayed and yet still wanting to keep distance from them.

This happened on January of 2005, a year after I graduated college and the same time having my own income. I want to stay away from my family because most of my salary went to our house, my brother’s (next to me) tuition, groceries and sometimes water/electric bill which I think beyond my obligation as a good son. Its not that I am too selfish of my earnings, I just want to be independent and get more freedom in many ways.

3 months after, I received an overseas call from Charlie, cousin. He’s inviting me to follow him to Dubai to work in a 5 star hotel. Actually, that was his 2nd invitation for me to go abroad. I refused his 1st offer when he was in Saudi Arabia .

I don’t have a plan to work in other country. When I was in college, I told myself that I will serve my country as it needs me more than working abroad but of course, it changed now. But when Charlie called me the second time, I just answered him yes because I don’t want to offend him for turning down the second time.

The next overseas call I received was again from Charlie informing me to get ready for a phone interview. After 2 hours, a Lebanese Front Office Manager did the interview and congratulated me afterwards for I had just passed. And the rest was history. I found myself queuing on government agencies for passport, clearance certificates, etc.

May 27, 2005 at 11:00pm, I had my first step in Dubai .

Looking back, it seems that God gave what I asked from my mother 4 years ago, to be away from them. To live in Boarding House for independence and freedom. To be a good and loving son for I am still supporting my youngest brother’s (this time) tuition fee (next to me graduated last October), grocery, and sometimes water and electric bill.

Working abroad is like living in a Boarding House, temporary shelter for you to live. Time will come that you will go home to the place where your heart is, your home. There’s no place like home indeed.

Still, most of my earnings still go to my family.

Complaining? Hmmp… sometimes, hehehe…